Friday, October 12, 2012

Gift season.

No, I'm not going to talk about Christmas, they are still hundred miles away in my time measurement. It is about October. In my nearest circle, many people chose to be born particularly on this month. And where are birthdays there have to be gifts in my world. 
I get really busy at this time searching internet and my head's memory storage, thinking, creating, packaging and swearing myself that next year I will do better - and by better I mean start earlier not few days but at least several weeks before, that when birthdays or other occasions will come I won't be stressed out. Sadly year after year the same cycles repeat themselves: I decide to take care of gifts in advance, I take care of them several days before, stress level over the roof and I swear again not to do the same mistake next year. I could go cold turkey and stop the madness taking the good old approach if head hurts, cut off the head - no gifts at all or only the ones in 'food shape'. No more stress, no more headache because I couldn't think something remarkable, worth giving or something that I would love to get myself, just a big bag of candies. But then the selfish part of me comes in to moan and I think again. I love gifts, receiving and giving. If I won't give, no one will give to me. 
When you think carefully about the word 'gift' - it is a voluntary thing which you give or do for others without expecting anything in return. But do we do that? I know, that I don't. There is always selfishness factor sprinkled on gift giving. I expect something, I expect gifts in return, I expect that people will put a little effort and their time, that they will think of me. Usually it really doesn't matter what the gift itself will be, but that I won't feel forgotten. I also think that when people give me gifts they expect that I will give them too (if I assume that everybody is the same and think the same as I do). But is it always true? Even when you google 'giving gifts' there are two options 'selfless' and 'selfish'. Do I always give just to get something in return, to get even or out of fear that I won't get anything. No. I see a selfless part here too. The yang for my yin. Making someone (and especially people that I love and care about) happy, giving them joy and surprise, showing that you listened and cared when they talked what they wanted even if it was several months ago and just for the split of a second. I realize that even my happiness giving other person happiness could be seen as a selfish act, because it makes me feel good about myself, but I'm ok with that. After all we see what we want to see. Without more ado, I'm off to put my gift awesome wrapping paper and sort through pictures of one of my creations. 

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